Becoming the Queen of Clean Underpants
a journal of muddled musings on marriage and motherhood
by Kelly Gordon Bullion
This book is Volume One in a series journal entries are just that - entries from a personal journal chronicling the thoughts about my life that sometimes rumble around in my (mostly) empty head.
Please do not read too deeply into them. I am still a young (*choke*) wife and mother trying to figure it all out, and I certainly do not have time for a stay in the loony bin because somebody thought too hard about one of my muddled mutterings of uncompromised genius.
So, please get comfortable - maybe with a cup of coffee or hot tea or copious amounts of an alcoholic beverage - and prepare to be enlightened.
Or grossed out.
Or deeply disturbed.
(depending on whether you opted for coffee, tea, or booze).
This is only volume one.
I am Jane Smith from Anytown, USA. I'm unspectacular and ordinary in almost everyway, and glad for it. (Unspectacular and ordinary are the key to the successful completion of my plan for world domination.) Physical attributes don't define a person, but to some people they seem to be the most important descriptor a person has. So, in the interest of making those people happy - I'm plain and tall and red-headed, although I'm more of a "mutt" than anything. I'm 30 something. Sometimes that makes me feel old and wisened, and sometimes it makes me feel young and stupid. Mostly it makes me feel fat. I'm a complex mixture of humor and depth and stupidity and wisdom and adoration and disgust and genius. But I'm mostly genius.