Student Guard
[Stood-nt Gahrd]

-Noun

1. Person formally engaged in taking boredom to a whole new level. This includes, but is not limited to:
a) Watching - borderline staring at - the hot half-naked guys walking by desk
b) Spending more than 85% of the shift on Facebook, Twitter, Email, Stumbleupon, Youtube, Netflix and forbidden websites
c) The rest of the time spent trying to figure out the most creative way to be cool

-Verb

1. To sit at a desk for 4 hours at a time with a 15 minute bathroom/lunch break

2. To keep under close watch the idiots who do not know
how to swipe their own ID cards

Apparently the following is not allowed (despite our protests):
a) Harassing the idiots
b) Sticking tape on the loud mouths
c) Punching, hitting, biting or kicking