Gentlemen of the League, Sports Fans from
Around the Globe, Oil Change Conspiracy Theorists, Innocent Bystanders, and Fellow Brethren,

It is my honor and pleasure to introduce this splendid tome you now hold in your hands. Representing years of dedication, perseverance, toe-sucking, painstaking, arduous bullocks, this compendium deserves a place on the coffee table, in the waiting room, next to the toilet, and perhaps even in the smarmy porn section of the newsstand. Revel in the following tales illustrating the glorious history of The League as you dap and slather in your medicated powders.

In earnestness,

The Commish