|Blurbarian Since||November 2008|
I'm heavily addicted to pistachios, and I control all things yellow. When I feel like it, I can levitate. Look out! I'll poplockanddropit when you don't want me to.
I fought in the Crimean War and I'm not a pathological liar. I am the first person to be awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature whilst in utero. I declined the award when I was born in 1982 (beat that you googly eyed French bastard!).
With only the aid of a shoehorn, I can defend our nation's borders. I can throw a banana and have it come back to me like a boomerang. Yesterday, I bungee jumped with a parachute and made the process look damn sexy.
When prompted, I will check myself before I wreck myself (but only if prompted).
I fell down the stairs and broke the stairs. That'll teach 'em.
Are you still reading this?
|Spoiler alert: I'm thinking my next book will be about...|
|200 pages long.|
|Everyone needs to know about these authors and artists...|
|And they are...?|
|This book is addictive. Read it. (At your own risk.)|
|Yes, its true. Be safe about it. Wear a condom.|